Hitler & The Bunkergang in the Bunker's elevator
by Katolika at Filipina
Summary: Hitler and friends get stuck in the elevator, again. But this is for a good reason. They're going to humiliate the ISIS terrorists! Will the plan be successful or not?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N This fanfic is based on YouTube user Schubert Aloysius's comment on AKO675's video on Hitler and the Bunkergang being stuck in the bunker's elevator. Enjoy!**

In the planning room...

Jodl: "My Fäilure, what is your poopy plan for today?"

Hitler: "Since you mentioned the word poopy, I'm gunna poop after this planning session. For today's plan, all of us are going to be stuck in the elevator again."

All Generals: "It stinks there!

Can I bring my teddy bear?

Is it dinner time?

I wanna pee now.

My name is Krebs and I love my fish.

I'm your general.

I hate elevators.

What's happening?"

Hilter: "VERRRRRRAAAAAATTTTTT! (SHHHUUUTTT UPPP!) May I please continue my plan?"

All Generals: *nod in approval*

Hitler: "Good. We'll be stuck in that elevator so we can torture some ISIS terrorists in a funny way."

Jodl: "How do we do that?"

Hitler: "Whatever antics were pulled in that elevator we're stuck in will be the torture tactics to the terrorists."

Fegelein: "Hey, Fartler, my antics against you today are dismissed for I will use them in the elevator. How do you like that?"

Hitler: "Ok. As long as you don't make me poop my pants or force my ears to have it's yearly periods then I totally approve."

Goebbels: "Btw, if we wanna bring the ISIS terrorists here, we have to lure them."

Hitler: "You're right, Skeletor."

Goebbels: "It's Goebbels."

Hitler: "Whatevs."

Goebbels: *walks out of room* *enters some random room* *cries in a corner whilst hugging his teddy bear*

Back to the planning room...

Hitler: "Any suggestions, guys?"

Krebs: "We could make a trail out of my maps."

Burgdorf: "Or we could put a sign outside that says, 'FREE BOOZE INSIDE!'."

Gunsche: "Or we could put a sign outside that says, 'FREE HEIGHT STRETCH-A-RATOR INSIDE!'."

Jodl: "Or we could put a sign outside that says, 'WIGS FOR SALE! ONLY 5, 000 REICHMARKS!'."

Goring: "Or we could put a sign outside that says, 'FOOD HERE!'."

Grawitz: "Or we could put a sign outside that says, 'FREE GRENADES INSIDE!'."

Krebs: "Oh my Poseidon, guys! Your plans are stupid! Mine is better than yours'!"

Jodl: "I object to you acting like a c**t!"

Krebs: "Come on, guys! My plan would totally work!"

Burgdorf: "That's madness! Everything's gonna go well thanks to my idea!"

Hitler: *light bulb pops over head* *grabs light bulb* *goes outside* *grabs a ladder* *places it under a creepy, flickering light bulb* *climbs the ladder* *removes the broken light bulb* *replaces it with the new one that randomly popped over his head* *climbs down ladder* *removes ladder* *steps on the most random banana peel in the world* *broken light bulb flies dramatically in the air* *lands on Hitler's ugly face* "VERRRRRRRAAAAAAAATTTTTTTT!" *sits up painfully* *grabs banana peel angrily* "Who the f**k put a banana peel on the floor?! Doesn't that f***ing idiot know that I would fall on this frickin' peel?!"

Himmler: *whistles to the tune of 'Despacito' whilst walking away with a bunch of bananas*

Harry Potter: *randomly comes to the bunker* "Hey, Hitler, I heard your screams. I have a spell that can cure your botched-up face."

Hitler: "You better hurry, Potter or I'll force ya to convert to Judaism and then shove you to the gas chambers!"

Harry Potter: "Sana-Instaurabo! (Latin for 'Heal-Repair')"

Hitler: *face transforms into a mix of Peter Griffin from Family Guy and Stan from American Dad* "You, crackpot! Is this the face I have?"

Harry Potter: "Oops! Wrong number...I mean face. Healo-Repairo!"

Hitler: *face transforms into Squidward from Spongebob Squarepants* "You neanderthal! This is the face I do not desire. It even doesn't have artistic perfections!"

Harry Potter: "What do you think I am? A face surgeon?"

Hitler: "I think of you as a dumb wizard with no artistic or musical skills. Plus, your war tactics are as lame as the name of one of my homies."

Harry Potter: *leaves room, frustrated* *flies back to Hogwarts*

Hitler: "Now who can fix my f**ked-up face!"

Ron Weasley: *unexpectedly shows up in the bunker with his broken wand from "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"* "Yo, Hitler, do you need help?"

Hitler: "That's too obvious. Don't ya think?"

Ron Weasley: *clears throat* "Refixo-Reinstaurabo!"

Hitler: *face returns to old self except for the messed-up one* *gets up from floor* "Gee! Thanks a million, Ron! How much do I owe you?"

Ron Weasely: "Three chocolate bars of Hershey."

Hitler: "That's easy." *grabs three bars of Hershey from super long pocket* *gives the chocolate doe to Ron*

Ron Weasely: "Thanks, Hitler!" *flies back to Hogwarts*

Hitler: *goes back to planning room*

Burgdorf: "My Fäilure, what took you so long?"

Hitler: "I'll tell you at dinner."

Burgdorf: "K."

Hitler: "Guys, I've got this plan to attract the ISIS terrorists!"

All Generals: "What?"

Hitler: "To lure them to the bunker, we have to convince the ISIS terrorists that this is a hotel. Koller, Keitel, you be the guards to open the door."

Keitel: "My Fäilure, how can we get in the elevator if we're outside?"

Hitler: "After the terrorists get in the bunker, you go with them and head on your way to the elevator. Convince them that you two are going on a lunch break to not spoil the plan."

Keitel and Koller: "Ok."

Hitler: "Gunsche, Krebs, Burgdorf, you be the hotel boys."

Gunsche: *gets excited and jumps in extreme happiness* *hits ceiling from a high hop*

Burgdorf: *laughs and boozes with Krebs, who is also happy about the appointment*

Hitler: "Grawitz, you be the one on the lobby desk."

Grawitz: "Okey dokey."

Hitler: "The rest of you will be in the elevator with me. At dawn, we shall be ready. That's why we oughta be preparing now."

All Generals: *nod in approval* *leave room with Hitler, who goes to the bathroom to drop a full load of s**t* *prepare things for tomorrow*

 **A/N What will happen tomorrow? Will the ISIS terrorists be so convinced that using Allah and the Islam for violence proves they're total dumb a**es? Will Goebbels ever join Hitler and the Bunkergang for the plan? Will Himmler confess to Hitler that he was at fault for today's a-peel-ing mistake? Stay tuned for more! Please R &R! Bye! Have a great time!**


	2. Chapter 2

An ISIS leader of six terrorists have a killing spree in Berlin for their world tour. Once they're done, they decided look for hotel. Then, they spotted the bunker thanks to a gigantic sign with a lot of lights that could raise up the bunker's electricity bills and decorations that are too expensive.

Leader: "Yo, guys, I found another place for us to air our second episode for "The ISIS Show". Who agrees?"

Terrorists: "ALL OF US!"

Leader: "Good. Abdul, park the car over there."

Terrorist 1 (Abdul): "Okey dokey." *parks car over a spot* *knocks over a statue of a nude woman that is sitting on a toilet because she has diarrhea*

All: *gets down from car* *goes to the front of the bunker*

Koller and Keitel: *open door for guests* *comes with them downstairs*

Once down, a terrorist asks them a question.

Terrorist 2 (Aladeen): "Why are you two here? Aren't ya supposed to be outside?"

Keitel: "We need to go on a lunch break, sir."

Aladeen: *whispers to leader* "Boss, these guards can be tricked easily. So no worries for the plan to be an epic fail."

Leader: *whispers back* "Indeed!"

Koller: "Krebs, Burgdorf, Gunsche!"

Three of them: *come in front of them, wearing red hotelier uniforms that almost cost Hitler's limbs but instead they paid the uniforms using Gadaffi's bones*

Koller: "Guests, these are the hotel boys. They'll help you bring up your bags while you go to check in."

Leader: "Thanks. Boys, give your stuff to these men."

Abdul: *gives three suitcases of guns, fridges, fart bombs and aircons to each of them*

Aladeen: *gives one huge bag of fans, My Little Pony figures and magazines on how to diet to Gunsche*

Terrorist 3 (Aazar): *gives two small bags of the Momo statue, three coconuts, a photo album which he stole from Donald Trump and the dead body of Amber Roces from the Philippine drama and rom-com Pamilya Roces to Krebs*

Terrorist 4 (Abaas): *gives a knapsack of make-up, lotion, wigs and dresses to Burgdorf*

Terrorist 5 (Abaan): *gives a gigantic bag of elephants, twin whales, a load of nachos and some random historical figures to the three*

Terrorist 6 (Abdullah): *gives a small suitcase of candies, napkins, jars of menstruation blood and capes of Mayor Cutie from Comedy Central's Another Period*

Gunsche, Krebs and Burgdorf: *try their best to put all of the stuff away in the room where Goebbels is, who has been crying for the 37th hour in a row*

Goebbels: *almost gets crushed* *groans*

Krebs and Burgdorf: *succeeds in putting things away*

Burgdorf: "Krebs, I think I hear something."

Burgdorf: "I hear it too!"

Krebs: "I guess it's a dying whale."

Krebs: "But the bag of twin whales are with Gunsche."

Burgdorf: "How do you know that twin whales are inside that gigantic bag?"

Krebs: "I'm a fish expert. Duh?"

Burgdorf: *facepalms* "Oh man! I totally forgot."

Krebs: "To be honest, the sound is like Goebbels' groans."

Krebs and Burgdorf: *stare at each other in shock* *scream* *dig all the way to find Goebbels* *grab Goebbels' hands* *bring him back in front of the random room*

Goebbels: *takes a deep breath* "Thanks a lot, guys. I thought it was time for me to kick the bucket."

Krebs: "Huh? What bucket?"

Goebbels: "It's an idiom for death. Get it now, Krebs?"

Krebs: "I...think so?"

Goebbels: "Ok. Now come on. Let's get in the elevator."

Three of them: *go inside elevator*

Gunsche: *has a hard time in pushing bag* *ten minutes later, applies Megalodon force to push Abaan's bag* *succesfully pushes it* *pushes bag to Inglorious Hitler's universe because of being so super happy of finally pushing Abaan's gigantic bag*

Inglorious Hitler: "WTF, GUNSCHE! WHAT IS THIS FIRGGIN' BAG FOR!"

Gunsche: "This is a terrorist's bag. But don't worry. The bag has no bombs. Well, have a good day!" *goes back to Downfall Hitler's bunker*

Inglorious Hitler: *opens bag* *elephants, twin whales, the load of nachos and five historical figures popped out of the bag, fly into the air and land on the super hard floor*

King Henry VIII of England: "Where are we?"

Luigi Lucheni: "Che cazzo stiamo facendo qui? (What the f**k are we doing here?)"

Empress Elisabeth of Austria: "Fragen Sie micht nicht. Fragen Sie Napoleon Bonaparte. (Don't ask me. Ask Napoleon Bonaparte.)"

Napoleon Bonaparte: "Pourqoui vous me regardez tous?! Tu devrais certainment demander à cette folle fille près de moi. (Why are all of you looking at me? You should be definitely ask this foolish girl near me.)"

Grandduchess Anastasia Romanov of Russia: "Что я сделал? (What have I done?)"

Inglorious Hitler: *calls James Bond in a janitor's uniform* "Janitor, will you remove these God forsaken stuff?"

James Bond: *nods* *grabs time machine gun* *transports each historical figure to his/her own correct time in history* *returns time machine gun and grabs teleportation gun* *returns each animal and object to its' proper places* *walks away like nothing has happened*

Inglorious Hitler: *jaw reaches the Earth's core*

Grawitz: "How may I help you?"

Leader: "Uhhh. We like to check in."

Grawitz: "Ok." *goes to box of keys* *gets key for bathroom* *gives it to the Leader*

All terrorists and Grawitz: *enter elevator* *elevator reaches between second and third floor* *gets stuck*

Hitler and the gang: *get in super large elevator*

Hitler: "ATTACK!"

Jodl: "I object that you're wearing black. I object you look like dead skeletons. I object you look like black ants. I object yku hate other religions except for Islam. I object you use Islam for your s***ty needs. I object you have super heavy bags. I object you made a dumb tv show about your terrorist attacks." *continues on objections*

Fegelein: *blows Vuvuzela at the leader's already menstruating ears*

Goebbels: *sings "Nyan Cat" to Aladeen's almost pointy ear*

Burgdorf, Krebs, Koller, Grawitz, Kietel and Himmler: *loudly sing "Poor Old Man" in different timings*

Hitler: *has boombox* *presses button to start* *plays "Never Gonna Give You Up" or more famously known as "The You Just Got Rick Rolled" song*

Krebs: *blows rusty horn after singing*

Burgdorf: *plays depressing songs using extremely cheap MP3 after singing his theme song*

Goebbels: *annoyingly reenacts John Cena's theme song*

Himmler: *drops a super bomb fart on the terrorists*

Grawitz, Hitler, Keitel, Wiedling and Koller: *irritatingly sing "Gucci Gang"*

All terrorists: *scream in pain*

Spongebob Narrator: "TWO WEEKS LATER..."

Leader: "I CONFESS! I CONFESS!"

Hitler and Bunkergang: *stop their tricks*

Leader: "I CONFESS WE, THE ISIS BASKETBALL TEAM, TRIED TO EXPLODE THE WHOLE WORLD WITH OUR FARTS SO ALLAH CAN RECREATE THE WORLD BUT THIS TIME MAKE A WORLD WITHOUT SINNERS!"

Abdul: "I CONFESS WE SEE THE WORLD AS SINFUL BECAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY CHRISTIANS, JEWS AND OTHER RELIGIONS. WITH THEIR RELIGIONS, THEY GO AGAINST THE SACRED QURAN!"

Aladeen: "I CONFESS I LOVE MY LITTLE PONY! I MEAN, I CONFESS I HATE GAYS!"

Aazar: "I CONFESS I STOLE THE REAL MOMO STATUE PLUS THE CORPSE OF A FILIPINO ACTRESS!"

Abaas: "I CONFESS I AM GAY!"

Leader: "BUT THAT'S AGAINST THE QURAN, YOU F**KING IDIOT! LOOK AT ALADEEN. HE HATES GAYS."

Abaas: "HE LOVES MLP, BOSS. CAN'T YOU KILL HIM?!"

Abdullah: *kills Abaas and Aladeen using his last two viles of poison*

Leader: "Thanks, Abdullah."

Abdullah: "You're welcome, Boss."

Leader: "Now, Abaan, Abdullah, it's your turn to confessing."

Abaan: "Ok. I CONFESS I LOVE STEALING THINGS ALTHOUGH THAT'S AGAINST THE QURAN!"

Abdullah: "I CONFESS I LOVE DISGUSTING THINGS!"

All of the terrorists except for Abaas and Aladeen: *confess more about their plans and personal lives*

Hitler: *gets walkie talkie* "Altaïr, we caught them."

Altaïr from Assassin's Creed: "Good. Now press 5 on the IPhone I gave you."

Hitler: *does what he was told to do*

All terrorists: *arrive in a jail cell*

Hitler and the Bunkergang: *appear in front of Altaïr and the other Assasins*

Altaïr: "Nice job, Hitler. You have arrested the major heads of ISIS. The others are in their jail cells thanks to my homies and other characters coming from different shows and movies."

Hitler: "You're welcome."

Altaïr: "As your reward, press 6."

Hitler: *Again, he does what he was told to do*

Hitler and the Bunkergang: *return to the bunker* *continue their normal lives there*

 **A/N Thanks for reading this. Please R &R. Bye and have a great time!**


End file.
